i love staring out my window. there's so much to think about

i want to fly like the bird i just saw. swim in the water i see in the distance. i just wonder about the people how they're like when they were young, how they got to whereever they are. the world isnt a bad place and it isnt a good place. i wouldnt say i was a good person and i wouldnt say i am a bad person either. i just live life for myself. this past year i think i've grown up quite a bit. in the past all i wanted was to be like popular and have friends and shit but it's not important anymore. people can say shit about me i dont care. look at me however you want i dont care. life is too short for that. i'm quiet but i'm not stupid. i enjoy my life although i've thought of suicide countlss times but now irealize that's just stupid. you've got one life live it to the fullest. friends who talk bs about you arent your friends and you might as well drop them before they really get to you. there are so much people out there who could be better friends.

call me a bad influence or stupid or watever. but why are you judging me when you should be judging yourself. i'm not perfect and i dont want to be perfect i dont want to be a goody good cos man that's one hell of a boring life. i'm not always who you think i am, cos well like there's always another side of the story, in this case it's me. ........................................mayb i'll continue later